fanadicts.

Go Kill Yourself. No, Really.

fanadicts — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 17:28:44 +0000

We thought the cigarette companies couldn’t get any sketchier than the time they changed all their mascots to cartoons to entice kids to try their sticks of death (and suddenly, more kids could recognize Joe Camel than Mickey Mouse or Fred Flintstone). Well, folks, we were wrong. Their newest ad for chewing tobacco, which showed up in this month’s edition of Popular Mechanics, says “Just Say No to People Saying No.” Because we all know that quitting cigarettes was so 3 years ago. Who wants to live an extra 10 years? Why chew Nicorette gum when you can chew tobacco? And if anyone dares to tell you to quit… well, you better squash that idea in their minds ASAP.

And the winner of the shadiest ad of the year goes to…. CAMEL CIGARETTES!

Adventures in Bizarre Advertising

fanadicts — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 22:32:00 +0000

One of the great races ad people compete in is seeing who can find the oddest, most unassuming place to stick their client’s latest ad. Those who mark the territory first are hailed for years to come as the advertising guru who gave new meaning to thinking outside the box. However, sometimes the place is a little too unassuming. A new trend developing in odd advertising real estate is cornfields. Yes, the corn-yielding, creepy-rows-of-stalks, deep-in-the-country cornfield (see below for McDonald’s, Verizon Wireless, and Starbucks ads).

I first have to applaud the people who go out and actually create these ads, spending hours snapping stalks in accordance to a pre-drawn map. I can’t even imagine how grueling and… well, dull of a task that must be (I hope they’re at least paying you well!). I second have to wonder what drugs were coursing through the ad person’s body who first came up with this idea. Even though it’s different, it’s not exactly the type of “in-the-consumer’s-face” different that marks an ad as novel. There are only 3 ways a consumer could view this ad:

1) Actually going to the cornfield (but, as I said, they’re hidden deep in the underbelly of rural life and this won’t provide any sort of view of the overall image).

2) If they happen to look out the window of their plane at the exact right moment (and considering how fast planes travel, I would say that they have a total of a 5 second chance to glimpse a view).

3) Nightly news, daily newspaper, or an Internet article.

So, of the three, the third option is more likely. I really hope these companies have written up a damn good press release because if not, some corn farmer has just wasted a lot of time… and corn.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Songbird

fanadicts — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 15:37:27 +0000

AHRQ and the Ad Council collaborated on a public service campaign to beseech patients to ask questions at the doctor’s office. Sounds harmless, right? Not so much. It’s rarely a good idea to use the spin of “and then we’ll just have everyone break out into song” in a commercial… especially when it makes it seem like you’ve chosen the psych ward of the hospital as your setting. If my doctor started singing at me that he can’t read my mind, the only question I would ask would be, “where’s the nearest exit?”

Another Round of McCruelty

fanadicts — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 16:31:04 +0000

PETA does it again! Their newest “McCruelty” ad stars Martin Short and Andy Dick. Thank God they didn’t pull an Alicia Silverstone and go nude for the ad. Andy Dick plays Ronald McDonald and clearly derives the character from Heath Ledger’s Joker while Martin Short plays his interviewer in a sadistically comical short.

Banner Ad Killer on the Loose!

fanadicts — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 21:44:08 +0000

Banner ads are irritating. Perhaps, the only thing more irritating is the Sham Wow guy… but that’s another story.

The most irritating of all banner ads has got to be the virtual people doing a sort of rain dance in the corner of your web browser. I mean lower insurance quotes are great but someone please tell me what that has to do with dancing like a moron? Do those people get lower quotes? Is that really all we have to do? The world may never know. We may not have to ponder over these virtual footloosers for long, however. A banner ad killer is on the loose. Yes, you read correctly. Beware all you virtual boogiers! Your days are numbered (thank God).

Check out these clever new banner ads created to promote the upcoming release of Halloween 2. Finally, a banner ad I’m not tempted to destroy by throwing my laptop across the room.

http://halloween2-movie.com/banners/H2_autoInsurance_160x600.html
http://halloween2-movie.com/banners/H2_hotDate_160x600.html
http://halloween2-movie.com/banners/H2_mockBook_300x250.html
http://halloween2-movie.com/banners/H2_saveTaxes_160x600.html
http://halloween2-movie.com/banners/H2_taxesRise_300x250.html

Sometimes It Just Takes a Little Yellow Vest

fanadicts — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 21:00:23 +0000

Volkswagen seems to constantly churn out novel advertising concepts. I love this new nontraditional ad Ogilvy came up with for Cape Town, South Africa. Many people think that in order to capture someone’s attention you need something big and something expensive. That just isn’t true.

VW’s simple ad concept consisted of hiring parking attendants for the day and outfitting them in electric yellow vests. The ad centers around the new park assist feature in Golfs (sensors, cameras and computer are linked to the electronically assisted steering system to parallel reverse the vehicle into a parking space on either side of the road… aka pretty cool technology in a reasonably-priced vehicle). Basically, this ad is a comical way of saying that parking attendants are no longer needed because of this new feature.

VW paid the parking attendants to walk around the city, catch a movie, roam the beach, and even sit down for an afternoon beer. The company did not have to invest in big billboards or commercials scrolling across a theater screen, they simply had to hire a few parking attendants for the day- a cheap and very attention-grabbing idea.

Bravo VW and Ogilvy!

The Ugly Side of Dallas

fanadicts — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:45:41 +0000

Well, I have officially been living in Dallas for a grand total of 3 months and have already found the worst commercial… perhaps, ever made. I’m pretty sure this is a local ad as it features two Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders and, let’s be honest, no other city cares about the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders (despite protests from Dallasans… or is it Dallasites or Dallasonians?… I may never know). If you thought clapping games were left behind in your days as a second grader at recess, you couldn’t be more wrong. This Vehix.com ad has resurrected this game thus ruining all my fond memories of Miss Mary Mack. As you watch these two cheerleaders sing and clap along to an obnoxious jingle, watch carefully as their remaining brain cells slowly filter out of their heads. Pretty fascinating. Enjoy!

P.S. I apologize for the poor quality of the video. I could only find one clip of the commercial on YouTube (although that’s probably a good thing…).

Give It To Me Quick

fanadicts — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 19:03:06 +0000

I hate ramblers. I mean, who doesn’t? They go on and on and on and… okay, you get the point. That’s why I love a good ole’ to-the-point blog. Here are five hysterical blogs that need to be both bookmarked and added to your daily cycle of websites:

1. Probably Bad News

2. Fail Blog

3. Texts from Last Night

4. Cake Wrecks

5. Snacks and Shit

Okay, okay. I’ll even give you a bonus one on the house.

6. Passive Aggressive Notes

Stale Vegetarians

fanadicts — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 21:41:11 +0000

Okay, first of all, I have nothing against vegetarians. My college roommate was a vegetarian and introduced me to a whole new world of greens. I am so pro-veggie. Carrots, lettuce, onions- how could food so tasty be so wrong? With a little help from PETA. Now, PETA and bad advertising are pretty synonymous already, so this was a little difficult to do but I have managed to come up with a Top 5 for Worst Peta Ads. Yes, believe it!

Number 5: KFC Blows Sex Dolls. This 2007 stunt in Asia was full of hot air from the start. PETA shipped over blow-up dolls imprinted with “KFC Sucks” to Sydney, Bangkok, Japan, and the Philippines. Supposedly the dolls signified that KFC treats chickens like inanimate objects just as blow-up dolls are treated. Too bad the dolls didn’t even make it through customs.

Number 4: Veggie Love Commercial. This 2009 commercial made for the Super Bowl barely made it out of post-production before it was given the ax by NBC. The racy commercial features a whole new side to aphrodisiacs. Ex-Victoria Secret model types were filmed “having a good time” with their veggies. As if that wasn’t enough, the commercial also claims that vegetarians have better sex… however, all I can think about when watching is that I hope the women rinsed everything off first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFlHDlYs4c4

Number 3: Unhappy Meal Promotion. PETA introduced us to a whole new low this summer with its Unhappy Meals. Passed out in various McDonald’s in the U.S., these hearty meals are complete with a bloodied rubber chicken, a packet of ketchup blood, a “McCruelty” t-shirt wrapped in a blood-splattered chicken sandwich box, and a cardboard cutout of a knife-wielding Ronald McDonald. So what has this promotion taught little carnivores? That squirting mom with fake blood really isn’t worth the never-ending punishment they will receive.

Number 2: Fur Trim Print Ad. PETA struck once more right before the millennium with its Fur is Dead campaign. There’s not much explanation needed for this one. Basically, PETA says fur is bad. PETA does so in a disturbing manner. Everyone hates PETA. The end.

Number 1 (drumroll please): Milk Gone Wild Commercial. Another risque ad by PETA, this time trying to get the masses to stop drinking milk. Not only is milk hazardous to our health (I mean sure, we’ve only been drinking it since… well, forever) but we are “milking the life” out of our cows. Mm nothing like girls pulling their tops off to reveal jiggling utters to convince me to change up my breakfast menu.

Hm… This Looks Familiar

fanadicts — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 15:58:07 +0000

McDonald’s has finally returned to what made it famous so many decades ago: the burger. The national chain has unveiled their new Angus Third Pounder burger, positioning it as the creme de la creme of their burger selection. According to Ad Age, McDonald’s wanted to create an edgier ad campaign for these artery-clogging machines. To do that, they created ads from the perspective of the gorger… err I mean eater. Hey, wait a second… haven’t we seen this before? I could’ve sworn there were burger commercials out right now that have that exact same concept… oh wait. There are. Whataburger already conquered this idea of focusing on the perspective of the eater and filling the screen with the burger. But don’t take my word for it. See for yourself.

McDonald’s Commercial:

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1543292789?bctid=31360221001

Whataburger Commercial: